The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
