she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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