HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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