My friends, they love my intelligence
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
