dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
