you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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