I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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