I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
