dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
