I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
