On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
