So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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