so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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