garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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