I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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