put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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