thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize