A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?