BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
