It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Of course I have a pirate flag
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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