Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
