I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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