Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
