Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
