You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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