tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
