three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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