before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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