why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
