He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
