just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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