Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
