Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
