I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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