You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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