Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
