Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
