He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
