we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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