If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize