Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Girls should come with a carfax report
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
