i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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