Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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