smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
