Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize