Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?