he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.