i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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