Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
