I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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