i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
