just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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