I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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