what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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