Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
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