I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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