i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
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jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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