I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
