i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
