Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize