It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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