Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
