he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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