there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
