and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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