You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
