Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
