Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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