office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
