Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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