Don't you send me to vm
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
