I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
