I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
