my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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